Tuesday Terror: Uninvited (1988)

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Our story begins when a cat breaks out of a science lab. Who knows what torturous experiments the feline has been subjected to? All we know is that it has something strange in its tummy…that turns kitty into a killer!

Two women find the cat on the street. After a few pats and purrs, they grow attached to it. When a rich fellow invites them to party on his yacht, guess who tags along?

There is more to the plot – wealthy Wall Street guy is up to no good and pretty girls attract boys – but it’s about getting bodies on the boat. Some familiar faces are in the mix: George Kennedy, Clu Gallagher, etc.

The dialogue gets clunky here and there. Characters do foolish things. The cat is cute – when it isn’t pissed off. Some gore. A lot of puppet wrasslin’.

This movie lets you know what it is in the first 5 minutes. If you are still on board after the great lab escape, it’s a fun, cheesy creature feature.

Tip: If you want to find a classy chick, go to the marina. That’s where all the money is.

Tuesday Terror: The Church (1989)

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Knights Templar destroy a village full of people who worship the wrong god. They erect a cathedral on top of it. There’s a special cross in the basement to seal the evil in.

Fast forward to 1989. The cathedral is abuzz with activity – people coming for confession, a wedding party, researchers and a bunch of other extras (for a nice body count).

The church is being restored. A layperson discovers the seal and decides not to tell anyone. Opening it by himself, he thinks he’s about to discover Templar treasure. He finds a whole mess of demons instead. The church goes on lockdown and a host of demons set about possessing and killing folks.

Horror master Dario Argento is one of the writers, so you know you are in for a good time.

One of the heroes is a young, black priest. Hugh Quarshie plays Father Gus. He and those left alive must find a way to vanquish the demons and open the church.

Unlike zombies, demons have their own particular quirk when it comes to tormenting and snatching souls. This gives room for the special effects artists and designers to be creative.

If you’ve never seen The Church, treat yourself.

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