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Cruisin’ to Bermuda

I thought I would give a play by play of my vacation via twitter. Then, I discovered that internet access on the cruise ship was 40 cents a minute. I went no where near twitter and only slipped online occasionally to download email. Instead, I jotted down a few thoughts here and there. So, I present to you, the tweets that could have been…

I look kinda sharp in a hat. Maybe a black fedora is next.

This deck is nice. Great view without leaving the room.

deck view

An in-room espresso machine. All caffeine all the time!

jitterbox forjb

Two bathrooms! And M has claimed the big, roomy one-with shower and bath tub.

Yeah, two hours on the ship and we’ve already gotten the questions–are you two sisters? cousins? etc? I’m just introducing M as my wife from jump.

Tip: When you meet a gay/lesbian couple there’s no need to immediately launch into your political positions on lbgtq issues. When you met a hetero, interracial couple – do you go into how much you agree with Loving vs. Virginia? Just smile and say nice to meet you.

The Breakaway is huge. By the time I make it to the gym, I’ll have had my workout.

So much food…everywhere.

Ahi Tuna

Ahi Tuna

dessert

Chocolate Brownies

shrimpcakes

Shrimp Cakes

I spent $69 on a bingo package and won 3 bucks! Whoo!

Internet is how much on board? No. Okay, maybe a minute or 2 every now and then.

Acupuncture and Botox at sea? No thank you.

An easy listening version of Let’s Get It on is a bad idea. It should be a crime to strip the soul from soul music.

Friends of Dorothy is the daily meet up event for lgbtq people. It is such an out dated term–would young people even get the reference? Hint: not a reference to Golden Girls.

Ocean Blue is the best specialty restaurant here–hands down. However, this place could use a soul food spot. They’d have to market it as southern cuisine instead of soul food though.

Lemon sorbet drizzled with honey makes my tongue happy.

So…rum swizzle is THE official drink of Bermuda?

Editing on the beach: 1) Recline in beach chair, with bottle of water at your side. 2) Mark up a few pages. 3) Put manuscript aside, go stand in clear blue water. 4) Watch fish swim around knees. 4) Avoid stepping on snorkling pre-schoolers. 5) Repeat steps 1-4.

We were almost impaled by a runaway, wind propelled beach umbrella. I look up from my manuscript and it’s tumbling straight for us. Like an action hero, I reach out with one hand and grasp the harpoon-like wooden pole as it bears down on us.

After a morning at the beach, I am 50 shades of chocolate.

Beach Party at Night: Fire limbo, Fire Jugglers/Dancers, the cha-cha slide..

According to our tour guide/taxi driver, there are a lot of new condos being built even though there are still a lot of condos sitting around empty. Who can afford the million or so for a beach front shoe box?

Took a glass bottom boat tour of the Bermuda Triangle. Saw fish and a shipwreck.

trianglefish

Internet Break: Paula Deen? Slave Waiters? Stop and Fricassee? What the hell?

For the Name That Tune game, a young man did not recognize the opening horns of Celebration by Kool and The Gang. His parental units have failed him.

Had a couple of samples from the Bermuda Rum Cake Company and broke out in a sweat. Rum and Ginger cake is good stuff!

None of the excursions offered actually dealt with the history/culture of Bermuda. Scenic tours and beaches… I happened upon a postcard of Gombey dancers when I was buying post cards. We’ll have to go back–fly over next time–and carve out our own agenda.

WILTW: Vichyssoise (Pardon Moi?)

Yesterday, I took a cooking class at The Culinary Conference Center: Soups And More. This was a very hands-on class where everyone got an apron, a hat and chopped/diced/rolled/stirred or whatever was needed. In 4 hours, Executive Chef Rick Low guided us through seven recipes: turkey consomme, acorn squash-pear puree, vichyssoise, spinach and cheese stromboli, grilled flat bread, herb compound butter and bruschetta.

Vichyssoise

Vichyssoise

Flat Bread & Bruschetta

Flat Bread & Bruschetta

Turkey Consomme

Turkey Consomme

Acorn Squash - Pear Puree

Acorn Squash – Pear Puree

No pics of the stromboli, but it was great. We made so much food and got to take some home.

The Culinary Conference Center offers cooking classes throughout the year; I’ll definitely go back.

Christmas 2012

What went down:

lemonextract saruman
*spent the holiday with my Mom
*was sent to the store at 4pm Christmas Eve on an emergency Lemon Extract run (found every extract except lemon)
*had the important job of tasting the filling for the sweet potato pie
*shocked my mom by knowing how to dougie
*met friends at Papermoon and Village Square Cafe
*Saw the Hobbit in 3d/Imax (we go to the movies every year) – did not realize it was pt 1 of a brand new trilogy
–when Saruman showed up, I gave him a serious side-eye.
*Tried to sneak a game of Sonic The Hedgehog, but a 4 year took the controller and insisted on showing me how to play
*realized that when a little boy was talking about The One With Jamaican Hair, he meant me.

*found my grandfather’s old Teamster dues book

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*entertained ourselves with dramatic dvd box readings and 70’s theme songs
*watched a bunch of Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movies. (spoiler: the girl gets her boy at the end–usually in front of a xmas tree.)
*I was supposed to make biscuits, ended up making homemade cranberry sauce instead (I use 3/4 cup of water).
*on Dec 26, she sent us on our way with a bag stuffed with: roast beef, mac & cheese, 2 whole pies (sweet potato and apple), rice pudding, half a lemon pound cake, and oyster/crab meat stuffing.

Now to get ready for 2013…

The Strange and Brief Relationship of Mr. Ferdi and Mr. Eggplant

When Mr. George Eggplant, Esq, moved into the neighborhood, he quickly struck up a friendship with the jovial Mr. Ferdi.

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They got along so well that the relationship took an amorous turn.

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Within days of their new-found closeness, Mr. Ferdi discovered that he couldn’t move a hoof without it falling under the shadow of Mr. Eggplant’s nose. Mr. Ferdi invited Mr. Eggplant to dinner in hopes of setting out some ground rules.

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The conversation did not go well.

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Then, Mr. Ferdi invited the two ladies across the lane over for a delicious meal. He assured them it was made with love.

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The End

A Change of Menu

After spending last weekend with these lovelies:

and watching Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead this weekend,

I don’t see Popeyes, KFC, Boston Market, legs, thighs or wings in my immediate future. In fact, veggies have been looking really good lately.

I am thinking about shifting around my diet so that meat (in general) is more side dish than main event. Now, to find some decent veggie centric recipes…

Food & Whine

If I can re-create Tandoori Chicken in my own oven, my subscription to Cooks Illustrated online will be more than worth it. So far, I’ve made biscuits and cranberry sauce from scratch–and no one got hurt! Maybe this weekend I’ll work my way up to a pasta dish . . .

Lessons Of The Day

1) Sauted spinach is fine. Burned spinach is nasty. If you make a spinach omlette and put the flame too high . . . .

2) I can play poker pretty well–against drunk distracted people. 🙂

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