Tuesday Terror: Horror Potluck #1

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The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake (1959)– a family is cursed by a Amazonian tribe. Men in the family are stalked, murdered and literally lose their heads. Their heads are shrunken and the skull returned to taunt surviving family members. Throughout the movie I had a lot of questions. For example, if the family was cursed years ago – how did these two live so long? The story did a good job explaining this and other headscratchers.

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Howling V: The Rebirth (1989) – If you are invited to another country to celebrate the reopening of a castle that was the scene of a mass murder, don’t go. This is my third favorite Howling movie. This is classic set up: a group of people who come from all walks of life are trapped in a remote place with no access to help. One of them, a werewolf, hunts down the others. It’s part horror movie, part who done it. I recommend watching it twice – the 2nd to to pay attention to the clues. (My fave Howlings in order: 2, 1 & 5)

 

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Dark Waters (1994) – Imagine being stuck in a convent on an island with weird nuns trying to kill you. That’s what happens to our protagonist here. All of the red flags say “don’t go” but she’s determined to discover the truth about her past.

Tuesday Terror: Escape From Tomorrow (2013)

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On the last day of a family trip to Disneyland, a man gets a call; he’s been fired on his day off. Rather than tell his wife or deal with this reality, he’s determined to be as normal as possible. Kids in tow, he heads out to the attractions as if nothing has happened…

Escape From Tomorrow was filmed on location at Disneyland without permission. You have actors blending in with the general crowds. Every once in a while the background looks flat; I imagine those scenes were done in front of a green screen. It’s an interesting stunt. On one hand, wow they made a secret movie under Mickey’s nose. On the other hand, the actors can’t behave too erratically in public and the story/horror elements suffer.

A lot of weird stuff happens in this film. Unfortunately, after every incident the dad just goes on as if nothing strange has happened. If you are on a happy-happy joy-joy type ride and all of the puppet and animatronics suddenly scowl at you with their best demonic faces, you might scream, run or mention it to someone. The actor can’t really do much here except look extremely uncomfortable, like he might pass out.

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On to the story… Dad has lot his job. His relationship with his wife is strained. What does he want to do on his last day at Disney? Follow a couple of French girls around the park like a boy with a crush. The teens – and they look young – notice this middle aged dude with a kid following them around and giggle a lot.

No matter what happens to Dad, he shakes it off and goes back out in search of the French girls. Even when a woman hypnotizes him and he wakes up in her hotel room, tied to the bed and being ridden by her, he can hardly wait to find/follow his crush again.

There’s another story/plot concerning whether or not Dad is a subject in a bizarre experiment but it looses steam.

The ending is not really one that you’ll see coming. It doesn’t quite come out of blue, but the film does have to remind you that it gave you a clue earlier.

Tip: If you are really interested in a more macabre history of Disney, keep an eye out for Murder Can Be Fun #13: Death at Disneyland or Murder Can Be Fun #20: Waiting In Line To Die. (#20 is a reprint and updated edition of #13. Both of these zines may be out of print, but you never know what you’ll come across at a used bookstore, etc)

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Tuesday Terror: The Nun (2018)

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A priest, a not-quite nun and a Frenchman walk into a bar – um – a convent to investigate the suicide of a nun. What waits for them beyond the fog is an evil that wants a way out.

The Nun has a great, old school atmosphere and the soundtrack is good. The story that we get doesn’t quite fit this set up. Jumpscares galore but you don’t learn too much about our demon in residence. Why would someone summon this thing in the first place? What were the perks supposed to be?

Now, let’s talk about our heroes. The priest feels guilty, so the demon gets to torment him with that. The not-quite a nun has visions she doesn’t understand that reference the Virgin Mary. The Frenchman is worldly; he uses a shotgun, not the Bible.

In essence, the priest is the Scarecrow (he’s doesn’t think things through), our not-quite nun is Dorothy (she finds her purpose), the Frenchman is the Tin Man (his heart is in the right place) and The Nun is the Wicked Witch of the West. The Cowardly Lion? That’s the audience – BOO!

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Because The Nun appeared in The Conjuring 2, you walk into this film knowing that this trio is not going to destroy the demon. Desite the jumpscares, the suspense is tamped down some. Also, the way they “defeat” the evil…Jada Pinkett did it better.

However, The Nun is full of great tips:
-if your horse refuses to get near a building rumored to be haunted/cursed, go home.
-if you are invited to spend the night at the cursed place, decline – go back to the village while you still have a ride.
-if you survive a hellish night, run to the village as soon as daylight hits.

It’s an okay movie that shows how The Nun is linked to the Conjuring Universe. On the other hand, let’s hope that The Nun gets a sequel (that’s really a story-strong prequel).