Van HelSING – The Musical

Van HelsingThe Musical!

(a scenes from a work in progress…)

Setting: Boca Raton, Florida

Main Characters
Mistress Grace – Owner of The Batherie, a spa and retreat center that offers a unique brand of physical rejuvenation.

Dr. Vreeland Cutter – President of Plastic Surgeons Association
Since The Batherie has opened, plastic surgeons in the region are losing rich clients.

Bob Van Helsing – the descendant of the famed vampire hunter is currently Dr. Cutter’s receptionist. He must restore the family honor…and find a way to pay off student loans.

There are 2 main musical themes:
Van Helsing’s Theme – light pop music (flutes, gentle guitar, hippie)
Grace’s Theme – playful Gospel Music (organs, hand claps, lots of vocal play)


Scene I: Dr. Cutter’s Office

Bob Van Helsing sits at the reception desk reading a comic book. When Dr. Cutter comes out, he immediately drops the comic into a drawer and begins typing. The doctor asks for the day’s roster and there are only two appointments: a consultation for a tummy tuck and a freak show performer interested in having horns implanted into his skull.

Song: Where have all the clients gone? (Cutter & Van Helsing; Van Helsing theme)

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.

We’re in a grave situation
It’s been months (three months)
Since a breast augmentation

Are thin lips now in vogue?
Flat asses the new sight to behold?
Is Character found in a crooked nose?

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.

Has Botox really peaked?
Did Oprah chastise them for filling in their cheeks?
Will I be forced to service circus freaks?

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.
(repeat, fade out)



About Tawanna

Sometimes writer, most times editor. Lover of mysteries and 70s/80s horror movies. Author of The Next Girl

Posted on February 14, 2013, in Books & Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Groovy fun! I really enjoyed this!!

  2. What a riot! I knew it was going to be good when I saw it was set in Boca! 🙂

  3. The title alone one me over. Great stuff!

  4. This was a very enjoyable read. I especially like the people frolicking in the blood-stained water, singing like kids with not a care in the world.

  5. Wonderful! Truly imaginative and fun!

    Nice to meet you via the VBBH!

  6. ::smirk:: I had to look twice at the title!

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