Van HelSING – The Musical

Van HelsingThe Musical!

(a scenes from a work in progress…)

Setting: Boca Raton, Florida

Main Characters
Mistress Grace – Owner of The Batherie, a spa and retreat center that offers a unique brand of physical rejuvenation.

Dr. Vreeland Cutter – President of Plastic Surgeons Association
Since The Batherie has opened, plastic surgeons in the region are losing rich clients.

Bob Van Helsing – the descendant of the famed vampire hunter is currently Dr. Cutter’s receptionist. He must restore the family honor…and find a way to pay off student loans.

There are 2 main musical themes:
Van Helsing’s Theme – light pop music (flutes, gentle guitar, hippie)
Grace’s Theme – playful Gospel Music (organs, hand claps, lots of vocal play)


Scene I: Dr. Cutter’s Office

Bob Van Helsing sits at the reception desk reading a comic book. When Dr. Cutter comes out, he immediately drops the comic into a drawer and begins typing. The doctor asks for the day’s roster and there are only two appointments: a consultation for a tummy tuck and a freak show performer interested in having horns implanted into his skull.

Song: Where have all the clients gone? (Cutter & Van Helsing; Van Helsing theme)

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.

We’re in a grave situation
It’s been months (three months)
Since a breast augmentation

Are thin lips now in vogue?
Flat asses the new sight to behold?
Is Character found in a crooked nose?

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.

Has Botox really peaked?
Did Oprah chastise them for filling in their cheeks?
Will I be forced to service circus freaks?

Where have all the clients gone?
All the wealthy, insecure clients are gone.
(repeat, fade out)



Posted on February 14, 2013, in Books & Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Groovy fun! I really enjoyed this!!

  2. What a riot! I knew it was going to be good when I saw it was set in Boca! 🙂

  3. The title alone one me over. Great stuff!

  4. This was a very enjoyable read. I especially like the people frolicking in the blood-stained water, singing like kids with not a care in the world.

  5. Wonderful! Truly imaginative and fun!

    Nice to meet you via the VBBH!

  6. ::smirk:: I had to look twice at the title!

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