Category Archives: No Homo! – No Homo!

After seeing the movie black./womyn.:conversations with lesbians of African descent– invited me to write a review.  This is what I originally wrote:

Most mainstream ideas of who black lesbians are and what they are like come from images/media NOT created by black lesbians themselves. That’s why black./womyn: conversations… is such a breath of fresh air. The documentary contains interviews with a wide variety of black lesbians who discuss a multitude of topics.

I would say that the overarching theme of the movie is: How do you exist/survive in a world where everything that you are (black, female, lesbian) is NOT valued–if not downright despised?

Though people are frank and honest, it’s not a depressing film at all and has quite a bit of humor.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t post it because it is laden with profanity. It took me a few minutes to realize that the offending, profane word was “lesbian”.

According to it’s review guidelines, reserves the right not to post a review that contains “Obscenities, discriminatory language, or other language not suitable for a public forum.” Yet, had no problem with showing the word “lesbian” in the movie title, selling me tickets to the movie, or sending me confirmation and review invite emails with the word “lesbian” out there for all innocent eyes to see.

I bet–and I can only guess at this because customer service for hasn’t responded to my email–that the site’s only goal is to keep knuckle-heads from using “lesbian” in a degrading manner. Having the word scrubbed from acceptable language does not solve the problem….

Just to experiment, I replaced the word “lesbian” to see what substitutes the comment box would take. What got flagged as profane: queer and gay. What was acceptable: carpet-muncher, lezzie, and muff diver. (I opted just to use “not straight“.)

So, good job–who needs words like lesbian, gay,  or queer mucking up a public forum when carpet munching, muff divers will do just fine?

[Yes, I know that people can “report” comments  with those other words–but it’s a sad day when “lesbian/queer/gay” is automatically assumed profane but “lezzie” is open to peer review.]

Society Club — No Homo!

Society Club wants you to know that it has a membership discount for straight families only.  Now, there’s nothing “wrong” about this–the club can decide whatever discounts etc it wants to offer and to who.

It’s certainly not the first time that we’ve been told that family=straight couple. However, there is usually a little back in forth with a business before we get to the “Oh, I’m sorry, but our discount is for heterosexuals couples only–but we will still take your money!”*

Not so with Society Club! M and my Mom went inside the club to check it out.  M asked if they had a family plan. The attendant confirmed that they did and in the same breath mentioned it was for husband and wife only. Which means 1) he saw my Mom’s short hair and assumed she was gay-she isn’t and 2) he assumed they were a couple. Danger lesbians!

Right away–he had to make sure they knew that Society Club did not consider same-sex couples “real” families. The 2 women could have just been friends scouting out health clubs to join with their husbands, but I’m sure it was more important to neutralize any potential lesbian threat. Whew–crisis avoided.

I just have one suggestion for Society Club–why not update your website and make it clear that the”family friendly environment” is for “husband / wife” families only?

*People always sound so regretful when they can’t recognize our civil union–but the voice always picks up/sounds optimistic again when they offer to take our money anyway.

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